How was your Christmas?
It’s almost hard to remember it now isn’t it? The twinkles back in their cardboard boxes and we’re left to face the rest of winter with “renewed enthusiasm” or perhaps just the dregs from a holiday we couldn’t really afford.
For Christmas Jos was given a set of geodes (for his rock collection) that he had to smash open with a hammer. A geode is a rock that has formed over at least thousands if not millions of years. It’s outer shell is usually limestone which has tiny holes in it and over the course of human history, in the quiet, water drips in through these invisible holes and forms into crystals inside, unseen to the watching world.
Then, we get to smash them open with a hammer. It’s glorious. The crystals inside are so unlikely, so different from the grubby outer rock. A whole world of glitter inside the stone.
Perhaps this is a better image of Christmas than the traditional one: a tree that leads the eye far up to the top, that we cover in sequins.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas trees, but symbolically, isn’t it wild that Jesus didn’t arrive in the sky with the angels. I think that’s what we would expect. We don’t have to crane our necks to witness him. We don’t have to bow the knee. We don’t look up.
We look down.
Because Jesus crawls in. At Christmas Jesus crawled into human history, into space and time and the mess at our feet.
Unseen and hidden he crawls, and then he changes the very nature of the earth from the inside out.
Christmas shouldn't leave us with stars in our eyes, feeling bereft and setting ourselves impossibly high hopes for the next year. The story of Jesus arriving, should leave us feeling not so alone in the cave. Like he has arrived in the quiet and changed our lives to something lit up from the inside.
What can I carry into the next year?
I have been thinking a lot about faithfulness for the last few months. It’s not a quality we celebrate very much is it?
In the last hours of 2022, my brother in law announced that he wanted 2023 to be a year of devotion. It's not an aim I've ever set myself. It's not often on people's New Years resolutions. To be devoted. To be faithful. It doesn't sound like much will change. But it is such a key part of who God is.
Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.
Psalm 36:5
In the Bible, God is embarrassingly faithful. He tells Hosea to marry a prostitute over and over again to demonstrate how faithful he is to those he loves, regardless of what they offer back, or whether they even stick around.
But what is this faithfulness made of? Perhaps more than anything he is faithful because he sticks around. He stays with us. And he pays attention.
The quiet and consistent paying of attention over a long period of time. It doesn't sound like the most important adjective to aim for - faithful. Try successful or beautiful or radiant or brilliant. Faithfulness doesn't get you noticed or appreciated a lot of the time. And it doesn't make a lot of money or a lot of impact quickly. But in an attention economy where our attention is paid for and fought for, and technology is designed and redesigned to capture the most attention it possibly can, faithfulness is radical.
These rocks remind me that something tiny and invisible to the naked eye, if it happens long enough, forms something magical and immovable.
Sam and I went away for our anniversary and I was trying to think how many kisses there have been over twelve years. How many sorrys? How many I forgive yous? What an amazing thing for someone to still want to kiss you after so long. To be loved again for the millionth time, chosen again, forgiven again, loved til we’re worn smooth like sea glass. A marriage is made of these old kisses.
Stallectites in a cave in the Brecon Beacons. Give a small drip long enough and it can move a mountain.
Sometimes I want extravagance from Jesus, big gestures and romantic proof that he is there and that he loves me. We find it so hard to hold the truth that he loves us enough to give everything up for us.
But imagine the weight of his delight over you, if you added together every morning you ever woke up.
For the LORD your God is with you you. He is a mighty savior. He will take great delight in you. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He rejoices over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
For me I want my 2023 to have a hundred thousand drops of attention poured on the feet of Jesus. I want to give a steady stream of kisses and moments of eye contact to my children, to my husband. I want my life to be like a geode.
I don’t know what those mountains ahead of us hold, but I know that Jesus has crawled in to my imperfection, and by his faithfulness he is not going anywhere.
Happy New Year everyone.
Katy x
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© Words, images and audio, Katy Hollamby 2022
Thank you, Katy, that is so beautiful!